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Funeral poems: classic verses for saying goodbye

Updated

Choosing a funeral poem often happens in a hurry, at a hard time. Here are a few short, well-loved classic poems, each with a note on who it might suit, plus verses of our own for sympathy cards. Every classic poem is in the public domain.

Short funeral poems (under 16 lines)

"Remember" - Christina Rossetti

Goblin Market and Other Poems, 1862

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

What it's about: The speaker asks to be remembered, then gently changes their mind: if remembering hurts, they would rather you "forget and smile". It is a sonnet (14 lines) and takes about a minute to read aloud. A good choice when the person who has died would not have wanted long faces. More of her poems are on our Christina Rossetti page.

"Requiem" - Robert Louis Stevenson

Underwoods, 1887

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

What it's about: A man who loved his life says he is content to rest. The closing lines, "Home is the sailor, home from sea", also work well on their own in an order of service. Eight lines, calm and without religious language.

Funeral poems for mum

"Song" - Christina Rossetti

Goblin Market and Other Poems, 1862

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
Sing on, as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
And haply may forget.

What it's about: The speaker tells someone they love not to make a fuss: no sad songs, no special flowers, just green grass and rain. "Haply" means "perhaps". It suits a practical, unsentimental mum, and does not mention God. "Remember" (above) is another good choice for a mother.

Funeral poems for dad

Stevenson's "Requiem" (above) is the classic choice for a father, especially one who loved the outdoors, the sea or travel. If you want something shorter and more personal, this is one of ours:

His Coat on the Hook

His coat still hangs beside the door,
one glove inside the pocket.
We'll leave it there a little while.
He always came back for it.

Original - Quotes and Poems

Non-religious funeral poems

If the service is not religious, these three classic poems do not mention God or heaven:

  • Christina Rossetti, "Remember" (1862)
  • Christina Rossetti, "Song: When I am dead, my dearest" (1862)
  • Robert Louis Stevenson, "Requiem" (1887)

You may also come across "Death is nothing at all", taken from a 1910 sermon by Henry Scott Holland. We have not yet checked its wording against an early printing, so it is not printed here.

Sea and nature poems for a funeral

"Crossing the Bar" - Alfred Tennyson

Demeter and Other Poems, 1889

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

What it's about: Tennyson compares dying to a ship leaving harbour on a calm evening tide, crossing the sandbar into open sea. The "Pilot" in the last verse is usually read as God, so it suits a religious service best.

For a sea poem without the religious ending, see Tennyson's "Break, Break, Break" and other choices on our nature poems page.

Poems for the loss of a friend

From Tennyson's In Memoriam (1850), the long poem he headed "In Memoriam A. H. H." for Arthur Henry Hallam, who died in 1833. This is the end of section XXVII:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

What it's about: Even at the worst point of grief, the speaker would not trade the friendship to avoid the pain. Four lines that work well in a card or at the end of a eulogy. For more, see our short poems.

Sympathy verses for a card

Our own short verses, free to copy into a personal card:

We carry you the way a river
carries the evening light -
not holding on,
but shining all the same.

Original - Quotes and Poems

Thinking of you in the quiet days,
when the visitors have gone
and the house remembers.
You are not on your own.

Original - Quotes and Poems

Her chair still faces the window,
the garden keeps her rows.
We'll tend them as she taught us:
slowly, the way love grows.

Original - Quotes and Poems

How to choose and read a poem at a funeral

  • Think of the person. A poem that sounds like them matters more than the most famous one.
  • Short is fine. Eight to sixteen lines is plenty.
  • Read it aloud at home first. Old words like "haply" (perhaps) or "crost" (crossed) are easier once you have said them.
  • Print it large and give a spare copy to someone who can finish if you need to stop.
  • Credit the poet in the order of service.

If you are finding grief hard, talk to someone you trust. In the UK, Cruse Bereavement Support offers free support.

FAQ

What is a good short poem for a funeral?

Three short public-domain choices: Christina Rossetti's "Remember" (Goblin Market and Other Poems, 1862), Robert Louis Stevenson's "Requiem" (Underwoods, 1887) and Alfred Tennyson's "Crossing the Bar" (Demeter and Other Poems, 1889). Each takes about a minute to read.

What is a good non-religious funeral poem?

Rossetti's "Remember" and "Song: When I am dead, my dearest", and Stevenson's "Requiem", do not mention God. "Crossing the Bar" is lovely but ends with a religious image.

Is "Do not stand at my grave and weep" public domain?

We do not print it. It is usually credited to Mary Elizabeth Frye, who died in 2004, and its authorship has been disputed, so we cannot be sure of its copyright status. Rossetti's "Remember" says something similar and is safely in the public domain. (This is our reason for leaving it out, not legal advice.)

Sources

Not the former quotesandpoems.com - an independent collection of public-domain poems and original writing.